The strange thing with Taiitsukun
by Miyami
Summary: Heh... What would happen if the Nyan-Nyans were to change Taiitsu-kun? just a theory... Warning: Strange pairings!
1. It all started with

What if the Nyan-Nyans really DID get an opportunity to change Taitsu-kun´s face?? Wouldnt that be just.....strange???  
  
Disclaimer: Well, i DID wish Fushigi Yugi for christmas but my mum didn´t get it for me! Wasn´t tha truly evil!?! T_T so I´ll just say that as long as no one gives me it as a birthdaypresent I do NOT own the FY-cast.(btw, who WOULD like owning Taiitsu-kun??)  
  
Uhhm, this is my first FY-fic I put on the net so be gentle with flames, please?  
  
The night was dark and mysterious. The shadows were even darker as always and so was the rooms in Taitsu-kun´s strange place... Around the corner of some wall there came a bunch of even darker shadows. They jumped up and down but in some way you could see that they were up for something that a lot of people would call strange or even the work of a maniac. Taitsu-kun would probably call it the work of Nakago or something.... Back to the story. Our doubtful heroines were approaching Taitsu-kun´s bedchamber and you could see how they were getting more and more excited. As we zoom these strange-looking shadows, we see that they are all alike. NO! Not like twins or someting like that! They were IDENTICAL..... (no duuh....).... We then zoom REALLY close and so we see that they really ARE very excited about something.  
  
They slowly opens the door to Taiitsu-kun´s chamber and almost by an instant flies back through the door and out again because well, for those who didn´t know.... Taitsu-kun SNOORE! And not exactly light and sweet ones either, they are pretty nasty as our doubtful heroines, who by the way keeps whispering "fix!" and "heal", now surely and probably in a very unpleasant way has found out. Well now they have come back, their tiny fists filled with bricks and stones and yet again they enter the room, still shouting what i think is their battlescream because the "fix"es and "heals" has been risen yet again and this time with improved strength. It's actually quite scary...(authoress scans her room as if frightend or paranoid and then continues with more confidence to the screen when she sees that no scary Nyan-Nyans are there)... They jump towards the big bed and stare at the sleeping and snooring Taiitsu-kun. They stick a napkin in her nose and so she stops snoring and they can drop their "dead weight" in stones and bricks.  
  
And so they begun to operate. With all their might they take the huge mission to change Taiitsu-kun forever in their tiny little hands but since the night is deep and dark (and the author is too scared of the Nyan-Nyans and Taiitsu-kun to approach the bed) we will have to wait until moring to find out what has happened.  
  
- NYAN-NYANS!!! WHAT HAVE YOU MISERABLE PATHETIC LITTLE BRATS DONE TO MY BEAUTIFUL AND RESPECTED FACE!?!?  
  
- FIX!!  
  
- NOOO!!!!! I look like Miaka no baka!! Or even worse. HOTOHORI the evil bastard of a emperor who dared to be evil to ME!!!!!  
  
- HEAL!!  
  
- WHYYY YOU EVIL TWITS!!! I´ll MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!!  
  
As I, the almighty authoress sneak closer I see that the Nyan-Nyans have made a wonderful job. Taiitsu-kun is now looking like a female Hotohori or maybe even more beautiful, if that wasn´t impossible, that is.  
  
Taiitsu-kun is not looking very pleased about this however, she seems to have nervous breakdown or atleast mad enough to break the whole realm. what a scary thought in deed.  
  
- I WILL SEND YOU TO THE PLACE WHERE YOU EVIL SPIRITS BELONG! And with a single blow she has blown all the Nyan-Nyans to the place where they will have to live until they have found an apartment or something.  
  
In the Palace of Konan.  
  
- WHATTA FREAKIN F**K IS THAT THING DOING IN MY ROOM!?!?  
  
- DAAAA!!! Who let the Nyan-Nyans in no da!?!?  
  
- Well ain´t you a cute one? Widdle Nyan-Nyan seem so lonely, come to mama Nuriko now!  
  
- AHH!!! It´s eating my food!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
- DON´T EAT MIAKA´s FOOD YOU EVIL THING!!  
  
- Nyan-Nyan, I feel that we should exchange workexperiences.  
  
- A KID! YES!! Im not alone anymore with all these scary grown-ups! Yay!  
  
- YOU HAVE DISRUPTED MY BEAUTY-SLEEP AND FOR THAT YOU MUST DIE!  
  
And as the Suzaku seishis found that they now had some extra roommates, Taiitsu-kun was very relieved, happy and pleased with the quiet house where she could spend the rest of the eternity without stupid Nyan-Nyans.  
  
  
  
Well, there we go. Oh n by tha way, I have a plot with this so if ya want I can skip this being a one-shot and make another chapter..  
  
Just click the blue widdle button down there n gimme a review, PLEASE!?! I love reviews! Flames are also acceptable as long as they are fair.  
  
- Whatta yeh mean "plot"?? This freakin sounds like a fu**ing scary thing if yeh ask meh.  
  
- No one asked you, Tasuki-chan^^ and if you ain´t nice I´ll be EXTRA evil if these readers wants another chapter=P  
  
- I think we should leave the authoress alone. We must keep ourselfes alive to summon Suzaku.  
  
- Such a clever boy you are, Hoto-chan. But I allready HAVE plans for you so.  
  
- Damn.  
  
- O.O Mr Majesty cursed!?! Wooow, that must be like.the first time or something.  
  
- I´m so ashamed! You will die for this, evil authoress.  
  
- Noooo!! Ohh well, atleast I´ll die with a smile upon my lips.  
  
- Hotohori-sama, we must NOT make her a saint, that´ll just backfire on us instead, no da.  
  
- Maybe so, Chichiri.-san but then I´ll just destroy her computer instead.  
  
- NOO!!! NOT MY COMPUTER!! You will SO die for this Mr Majesty! T_T  
  
- Aww crap, tha fu**ing authoress is freakin crying! - YOU ARE SO EVIL!!! T_T I´ll NEVER forgive you!  
  
Ehhe.that was just.ehum. I WILL probably write another chapter now.just for revenge..^____^  
  
Im so evil.kekekekekekekee!! (evil laughter fades away as the authoress leaves this room) 


	2. The doom for my victim

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of these really great torture-objects but that doesn´t mean ya can´t have some fun with them, ne?? I envy Watase, she can use ´em for everything she wants AND take the credit for it.  
  
  
  
- Aww crap. Th´ fu**ing authoress is back again.  
  
- Kekekekeee! And with me I bring the chapter of doom.for some that is.*glares at Hotohori*  
  
- * Gulp* S-SOME? I sure hope I am not one of those?  
  
- Kekekeee! In ya dreams, Mr Majesty, I´ll NEVER forgive you for threatening my computer!  
  
- She´s freakin lost it.* shudder*  
  
- Bwaha! Ya time will come soon enough, Fangy=P  
  
  
  
Anyways, on with tha story.  
  
  
  
- NURIKO! Can´t you control these Nyan-Nyans better!?  
  
- They are NOT just Nyan-Nyans! They are individs with emotions, they might get hurt if you are nasty to them! A pretty pissed Nuriko has taken the Nyan-Nyans under her protection. They are his babies, his precious.  
  
- HURT!?  
  
WHABOOOM!!! Nuriko just slammed the door shut in the face of a very surprised emperor.  
  
  
  
Depressed, lonely and left without love this sexy, gorgeous and wonderfull emperor wanders away into the forest. First did Miaka leave him and now this? He sure did not have many reasons to live any more.  
  
But so, as he is thinking of taking his life with his cute little sword, he sees something. A beautiful woman is sitting by a lake, washing her face in the clear water.  
  
Filled with love he approaches the woman, this serene beauty who looks almost as beautiful as he does.  
  
- Who´s there!?  
  
- It is I, The emperor of Konan who is standing here, admiring you´r true beauty.  
  
- THE EMPEROR of Konan! Ohh dear, I guess I am turning blind for not seeing you.  
  
- That is a common mistake, my dear. May ask for you´r name?  
  
- You allready know me, or alas the one I was before the accident.  
  
- An accident, ohh my how terrible. And I must surely remember such a beauty as you?  
  
- I wasn´t always like this. Once upon a time I was Taiitsu-kun, the ugliest woman in our universe.  
  
- T TAIITSU-KUN!? Is that truly you in that astonishing body?  
  
- Yes, it is. Do you still hate me? Or do we have a future?  
  
- I could never turn my back on you now, of charming lady! Let us run away, forget about all our duties and become happy? And the Emperor kisses the now pale and ladylike hand of Taiitsu-kun, still almost complexed over how he ever thought she was ugly.  
  
- Ohh but darling, you have so many obligations, you can not run from them?  
  
Yes I can, I leave everything behind for you, my love! How could I even THINK of Miaka? I was blind all the time, YOU are the one I truly love!  
  
- Oh Hotohori!  
  
- May I kiss you, oh Taiitsu-kun, such a beautiful name that is when you think about it!  
  
- Yes, you may kiss me, noble steed of Konan. (au/n ew ew eew!) Take me, I am your´s!  
  
- TAIITSU-KUN! The noble steed yelled as he threw himself over her, biting her neck oh so gently while Taiitsu-kun is moaning with pleasure.  
  
And as the stars starts to spread over the dark blue night sky we can hear a lot of noises we do NOT want to hear from these two love-birds.  
  
  
  
- Hotohori-chan? Are you not back yet? The sad Nuriko hugs his dear Nyan- Nyans in comfort for the man who have treated him like. A MAN! The scars inside Nuriko will take long to heal no matter how many Nyan-Nyans help him.  
  
- I loved you, Hotohori-chan. How can you leave me for six whole hours?!? I have NEEDS! I am still a WOMAN!  
  
  
  
- Hotohori-sama, where are you? We were supposed to plan the next weeks attack against Nakago, no da. The ministers are getting very impatient no da!  
  
  
  
2 weeks later  
  
  
  
- Ohh Taiitsu-kun. Not until now have I understood how true happiness feels like!  
  
- My Emperor, my noble steed! A eternity is long time to be alone but it was all worth waiting for, you make me swoon!  
  
The lovey-dovey couple is lying at the side of a waterfall, gazing at the sunset together.  
  
They are married, and oh how happy they seem, soulmates in every inch of their bodies, loving each other more than life itself.  
  
- Don´t you ever think of Konan, my love? You must miss the seishis and that Miaka-baka a lot.  
  
- As long as I have you I feel no need for other people! I love you so much, my darling Taiitsu-kun!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Konan  
  
  
  
- C´mere ya lil brat! Dun´think yeh can hide from (HIC) big ol´ Genrou, eh?! (hic, hic) Tasuki is chasing Chiriko who is clutching his sakebottles in his arms in an attempt to save Konan  
  
- Why did that drunk fangboy become emperor no daa!  
  
- But don´t you remember, Chichiri-san, he won the three-legged race.  
  
- Yes, but who´s idea was that, no da?  
  
- Oi Chichiri-kuun! Tamahome!  
  
- Miaka! YOU are the one responsible for this!  
  
- Tamahome!? Noo! Don´t go all karate on me now!! IIIIEEEE!!!!  
  
  
  
Sad enough, Miaka was not alive to summon Suzaku. too bad for her, ne?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
- Mwhahahaa!! I am SOO good at this ^^  
  
- Yo-You made me and. Sunukake baba a COUPLE!  
  
- Yep, I told you I was gonna get revenge, didn´t I?  
  
- But. that is so CRUEL!  
  
- Dahahaha!! Ol´ Hotohori-sama is married to Sunkake baba!  
  
- Ohh shut up Fangy, you´r time will come aswell. Or well, I am easy to corrupt, i´f I am allowed to do some "things" to you I´ll let you go.  
  
- NO FREAKIN WAY!! Whut kin´o´things!?O.o;;  
  
- Weeell.. Nothing tooo hentai, just some dishes and cleaning. and maybe something else too ^.~  
  
- Yeh so evil! REKKA SHINEN!!!  
  
The authoress is now a crispy pieace o fried meat a lá Tasuki.  
  
  
  
Ohh well. here is my thanks to all the wonderful reviewers out there^.^  
  
  
  
nuri-chan: Hehe, you knew what was coming and hopefully this is kinda ya worst nightmare..  
  
(Ohh btw, to those who don't know, nuri-chan is almost obsessed with Mr Majesty=P)  
  
  
  
TA Maxwell: I´m so sorry Nuriko, I made Hotohori in love with Sunukake baba but it was just because I was so mad at him, kais?? And TA, thanks for the review and yes I ment a martyr, I just wasn´t sure it was spelled that way.  
  
  
  
Becki: Yeah, I know, it really sux that school has started again, there I so little time for writing=P 


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